humor

My TV Kiss of Death

photo courtesy of primetime.unrealitytv.co.uk

TV has always been kind of a big thing in my life.

As a little kid, I was hooked on Rocky and Bullwinkle, Roy Rogers and Sesame Street, and my passion for the tube only went on from there. This TV connoisseur has seen every episode of Leave it to Beaver and Gilligan’s Island, all of I Dream of Jeannie , and every single episode of the Flintstones ever made.

Seriously, who wouldn't want to look like this in harem pants?

Seriously, who wouldn’t want to look like this in harem pants?

When my kids were growing up, I was sucked into the vortex of Clarissa Explains It All, Sister Sister, Dawson’s Creek, One Tree Hill, Smallville and – my personal favorite – Roswell.

You may note a common theme through all of these old favourites: Mainly, they are appropriate for teens/tweens and younger. Perhaps that says something about my taste in television – I have been very slow to mature, and have been hampered by a fairly strong sense of morality that rules out most of the junk that is served up season after season for our consumption. Oh, I’m no prude – I think you all know that – but strong language, graphic violence, vampire/occult themes and anything explicit is a no-no in this house and always has been.

Hence my somewhat limited choices.

Sure, I loved Friends, and Frasier remains a firm favourite to this day. I actively snubbed Seinfeld until after the series ended. (Its very popularity was a turnoff.) However, stumbling quite accidentally across a Seinfeld rerun one Saturday afternoon, I laughed until my sides hurt, and then promptly jumped on the bandwagon and watched the whole series marathon-style. It took about 2 months of nonstop Jerry, but I got through it in the end. Sometimes, very occasionally, a long running series runs long because it is actually pretty darn good.

For instance, King of the Hill, the animated masterpiece, enjoyed a long run. My other favorite TV King? The King of Queens! I almost cried when they finished that series. Hubby and I are doing our best to keep Doug Heffernan alive by quoting him on a daily basis. Also by eating plenty of Cheetos.

Everything-sucks.-Might-as-well-find-something-to-smile-about

House is another example of such. I don’t care how formulaic or unbelievable it was (“Dr. House, the patient is dying!” and 2 minutes after a stem cell injection, “Dr. House, the liver damage is COMPLETELY REVERSED – you’re my hero!”). It was worth watching if only to pick out the medical inaccuracies and mispronunciations. (I’m a bit of a medical terminology geek.) Seriously, sarcoidosis, which was suspected in virtually EVERY case of unexplained illness, seizure, coma, lump, bump or scrape, is not really all that common. But I digress…

All of this TV watching, however, comes with a downside. Apart from the long running series’ mentioned above, pretty much anything I love to watch, REALLY LOVE to watch, ends up getting cancelled after only one or two series. Why? Why, I ask you?

Peter_Dinklage

Peter Dinklage: My first ever dwarf crush

Here is a very short list of my favourite cancellations: 

  • 30 Rock… didn’t I love you enough? Sure, you were concluded, not cancelled, but STILL. There was still so much uncharted territory to explore.
  • Arrested Development – why, oh WHY were you cancelled? The long, awkward pauses… the moments of such – WRONGNESS – were so very right.
  • CSI Miami and NY... NOW where am I going to see graphic autopsies? The medical geek in me is utterly disappointed.
  • Hoarders. Why? Why can’t I see their filth and clutter anymore? They made me feel so self-righteous and tidy; it was my only incentive to vacuum! (Yes, the exploitation of mental illness: Now THAT was the stuff Emmys are made of.)
  • Lie to Me. Being lied to never felt so good. If only they could have lied a little longer.
  • Threshold...13 perfectly terrifying episodes. (Plus, I had a wee bit of a crush on Peter Dinklage.)
  • Vegas. Dennis Quaid as a 1960s lawman was fantastically entertaining. The costumes, the hair and makeup, the glitz and glamour, the music! Naturally, it lasted one series.

My current TV light of love is Covert Affairs. Hubby and I watched the first 3 series’ (marathon style – we do that a lot) on Netflix and were hooked. How disappointed I was when there was no 4th series… With Auggie and Annie together, I figured this was a wrap on the series and it would, like everything else we love to watch, ride off in to the proverbial TV sunset.

covert affairs

But EUREKA!! We discovered that Amazon Prime (LoveFilm) is carrying the fourth and – can you believe – the FIFTH SERIES? And it is still in production.

Now that they know we are watching it, however, it will probably end there. Apologies to my fellow Covert Affairs fans out there. Once the TV industry discovers that I am watching anything regularly, they will be slating it for cancellation.

I would like to administer my kiss of TV death to such series’ as Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Bridalplasty, Toddlers and Tiaras or anything involving a bachelor, bachelorette or an island, but I simply do not have the stomach for it. More’s the pity. Those are set to run for decades yet. Yay.

Mother Hen

© motherhendiaries 2014 all rights reserved

feature photo: primetime.unrealitytv.co.uk

PS: Since this was first published, I have to let you know that I have discovered THE MIDDLE… ah… hahahahahahahaaaaa! Frankie Heck rocks! Please, TV powers that be, I know the kids will be finishing school and all… but PLEASE don’t cancel The Middle! What will I do without Frankie and Mike, Axel, Sue and Brick to lighten and brighten my day?

the middle

I love you, Heck family! image: citytv.com

23 replies »

  1. I love TV too and completely agree about 30 Rock! I watch the series on Netflix but I mourn its loss… There were so many moments when I would laugh out loud watching it!
    The Middle is also good…

    Like

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