humor

Don’t… Just, DON’T.

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1.     Don’t roller skate into a crowd of boys when you don’t know how to apply the brakes.

2.     Don’t criticize your best friend for a bad book report. You will SO get slapped.

3.     Don’t steal penny candy from the local five-and-dime, even if your sister puts you up to it. She is SO going to grass on you, and you’ll be in big, BIG trouble… (and she will laugh, because she is PURE EVIL!)

4.     Don’t ever accept a ride home from work from a member of your high school football team. No matter how cute he is. Don’t. Just… don’t.

5.     Don’t spill a drink on your boss at an office party. Especially if he is a former NFL player. And whatever you do, do NOT try to brush it off the front of his trousers!

6.     Don’t drive 110 mph down I-70. Even if you never get caught, it’s just a really, REALLY bad idea.

7.     Don’t laugh when drinking anything.

8.     Don’t say “It’s OK” when it is “NOT OK.” Nobody will thank you for it.

9.     Don’t waste time worrying about what other people think of you. They will think it whether or not you worry, and will think it more if you try to defend yourself. It’s just the law of people.

10.    Don’t ever go bra-less. That’s just gross.(Unless you are in bed. Then it’s OK.) And while we’re on the subject, never, EVER wear a bra with loose straps. Nobody wants Aunt Isabel’s boobs. No, people. Just… no.

This is my response to the DAILY POST prompt: “Well, I Never… – “Tell us about something you’ve done that you would advise a friend never to do.”

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/well-i-never-2/

Mother Hen

© motherhendiaries 2015, all rights reserved.

19 replies »

  1. Nice advice. But I am the owner of moderate boobs, still failry perky and I have gone braless plenty-in the right place, time and supportive tops. When I get home from work, two things go-shies and bra! Then I’m “free”. I think the thing that bugs me worse. P,ease don’t wear halters and tanks with your bra straps ShOWING. Just wear a regular top and be done with it. Not gonna ask about the handsome football player. That would never have happened in my world. I was kind of a square peg. Lol

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